What is my worth? I’m confident I have none. Confident I deserve some. Because I have no self worth I believe it’s replicated in how others see me. I’m currently always craving attention but not actively seeking it. I don’t want something new because I always fall back into my past. The strongest bond conquer the newer ones. I guess I’m scared because I’m vulnerable. I don’t wanna upset anyone or end up hurting anyone. I put others before myself and I can’t but myself first. The real question is.. is there anyone out there who’ll actually be in love with me, not hurt me, give a shit just as much as I will them when the time comes? I’m not worried about finding someone right now. I need to find myself first. Just I feel I won’t ever be in love again because first I have to love myself and I can’t love myself.
Mij's World 
You said you had this one- be the man you wish you were then, and you’ll attract who you’re meant to be with now
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I’ve known of all the girls I’ve wanted to be with. The ones I’ve sensed it’ll work with, the ones it could, the ones just to plod through life with without a real strong bond and those it just can’t work with.
The girls I could’ve had a genuine future with, one is having a baby and super happy elsewhere. Ones moved up the country and getting married. The rest I was either plot points in their lives to realise I’m never gunna be what they want and I’m okay with that. Just tired of the same routine of dating with no real feelings for anyone. I want someone to make an effort with me for a change.
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Don’t forget, if you have no self identity, you’re effectly 0. So if a beautiful human comes along who knows themself, they are 1. You need to love your whole self and know you’re worth 1 as well. Because 1 + 0 = 1 still. And it’s not fair for the other party to carry you too. Only 1 + 1 = 2. If you bring yourself as a 1 but don’t add yourself, instead multiple and spread yourself, 1*1=1, you are merely drained versions of yourselves barely making 1 between you. Equally if the other party puts their all in and you bring 0, 1*0=0- you drain all they are.
Be careful. It’s not just your score
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I’m .5 I’m not at 0. I’m at a place where people need to recognise my worth because I know how good of a person I am. I may not be the prettiest person. I’m not the funniest or the smartest. But I can be funnier. I can be smarter if I chose to learn something. History proves I can learn anything. If I don’t do it for awhile I will forget but I still can do it. I’m a passionate person. A generous person; physically, sexually, spiritually and materialistically. I’m caring. I’m ride or die. A chance and a little recognition is all I ever wanted from humans to prove I can be anything someone ever needed. The sad truth is the fact it’s me and not the actual person they desire. I feel I’m ‘the beacon of realism. Date me and realise what you want in life’.
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